episode 14: gaslighting
the subtle way intelligent men dodge responsibility
this is a heavy episode.
in this one, author publicly confronts a manipulation pattern he used in the past: gaslighting.
not the obvious kind.
not “that never happened.”
the subtle kind.
the kind that hides behind logic.
we unpack:
– how stripping emotion from a conversation can become a shield
– when clarity turns into control
– why intelligent men can use reason to obscure behavior
– how childhood conditioning shapes adult conflict
– the difference between intention and impact
social media breakdown (top 5 posts this week):
2. “if he wanted to, he would. but he didn’t. so you shouldn’t.”
3. “if he was serious, you’d feel secure. you don’t. that’s your answer.”
4. “he is not confused. he just doesn’t choose you when choosing costs him something.”
5. “he is not avoiding you. he is avoiding effort.”
in this episode, author explains the psychology behind these posts — why they resonate, why they hurt, and why growth often requires discomfort.
we revisit:
low-effort temperature checks disguised as interest
and preview what’s next in the manipulation series:
musing 80 – darvo (deny, attack, reverse victim + offender)
musing 81 – word salad + the fog
covert contracts – the “nice guy” trap
premium update:
premium now includes both weekly directives (sunday + monday), including full wireframes + action items.
inner circle (founder tier) becomes proximity — direct access + coaching.
pricing adjusts monday. existing subscribers are unaffected.
this isn’t therapy.
it’s confrontation.
follow, rate, and subscribe wherever you’re listening.
full arcs:
the architecture of control (9-week series on manipulation + control)
musing no. 74 → musing no. 75 → musing no. 76 → musing no. 77 → musing no. 78 → musing no. 79
avoidance + ghosting + boundaries
musing no. 68 → musing no. 69 → musing no. 70 → musing no. 71 → musing no. 72 → musing no. 73
stay close.
— author
