nobody warned me i’d like my kids this much | musing no. 66
on presence, pattern-breaking, + choosing what stays
musing no. 65 just challenged the “one person” idea.
the wireframe (premium link) for m.66 is live in the red room — the structure beneath the piece, before it was smoothed or softened.
if this piece resonates, the podcast goes deeper. m.66 started as a conversation about presence — why it felt unfamiliar, what shaped it, and how easily men mistake escape for freedom. the episode expands on the patterns behind this musing, in real time, without sanding the edges off.
nobody ever tells you this part.
they warn you about teenagers like it’s a storm you’re supposed to survive.
distance. attitude. chaos.
relief when they finally leave.
that hasn’t been my experience at all.
i miss when my kids were little.
but i wouldn’t trade this stage for anything.
we’re close.
closer than i ever expected.
close enough that i’d call them three of my best friends.
when i’m not working, i want to be with them.
not out of obligation.
out of preference.
maybe it feels strange because it wasn’t modeled for me.
i couldn’t wait to leave home.
i wanted distance.
independence (premium).
space.
not because my parents were bad —
but because closeness wasn’t the language we spoke.
so when i found myself wanting my kids around,
it felt unfamiliar.
not wrong.
just new.
somehow, culture helped instead of hurt.
taylor swift dating travis kelce didn’t matter to me —
but it got my daughters watching football.
sitting on the couch.
asking questions.
learning the game.
being present with their brother and me.
stranger things did something even deeper.
they didn’t just love the show —
they fell in love with the era.
the music.
the optimism.
the feeling of a world that believed the future was getting better.
suddenly we were bonding over the same songs.
the same references.
the same stories.
it stitched time together instead of pulling us apart.
and that’s when it hit me:
people normalize not liking their kids.
they joke about needing space from them.
they treat closeness as unhealthy.
but why?
why is it strange to enjoy the people you raised?
why is wanting them around framed like weakness?
i don’t want a break from my kids.
i want more time with them.
maybe that shouldn’t feel unusual.
maybe that should be the standard.
— author
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