why you don’t actually dislike sydney sweeney | musing no. 57
most people don’t hate her. they hate the mirror she holds up.
before we start, you should hear the funny story of how this musing was born.
i tell the whole thing on this week’s cuffed podcast — the moment, the spark, the “oh we’re absolutely writing about that.”
it sets the tone for everything below. listen to it.
—
people pretend they dislike sydney sweeney.
they’ll say she’s “too much,” “too sexual,” “attention-seeking,” “not that talented,” or that she’s only famous because of her looks.
ask them to explain it… they can’t.
that’s the tell.
because this was never about sydney.
it’s about what she represents.
and a lot of people — especially women — don’t actually hate her.
they hate the way she makes them feel about themselves.
they hate that she’s not ashamed of the things they were taught to shrink:
beauty.
sexuality.
presence.
power.
they hate that she doesn’t perform humility to make others comfortable.
they hate that the world pays attention to her without her begging for it.
they hate that she refuses to dim herself to escape judgment.
they hate that she doesn’t apologize for the parts of herself they were punished for owning.
and deep down, that stings.
because empowerment is easy to support when it’s hypothetical.
women will cheer for “female empowerment” —
until the empowered woman makes them uncomfortable.
then suddenly, there are rules:
be confident, but not so confident that other women feel insecure.
be beautiful, but pretend you don’t know it.
be sexual, but only in the ways people approve of.
be powerful, but not so much that it threatens anyone.
sydney violates all of them.
she doesn’t pretend.
she doesn’t negotiate.
she doesn’t wait for permission.
and that’s why people obsess over tearing her down —
because she’s living in a way they were never allowed to.
the truth is simple:
most people don’t dislike sydney sweeney.
they dislike the mirror she holds up.
they dislike the version of themselves they never gave permission to exist.
the confidence they were taught to fear.
the sexuality they were told to hide.
the power they were conditioned to apologize for.
sydney isn’t the enemy.
she’s the reminder.
the trigger.
the proof that unapologetic ownership is threatening only to the insecure.
that’s why the criticism never sticks.
the hate isn’t about her.
it’s about what she exposes.
you don’t actually dislike sydney sweeney.
you dislike the parts of you that weren’t allowed to be her.
— author
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I think she conducted herself a lot like a man in this jeans “imbroglio.”
Holding an advertising face accountable for a decision made by a marketing firm and a corporate seems misbegotten, but I worked many years in corporate America so I could guess why people think they can strangle the messenger. Sometimes that works.
Not for Sydney. She expected everyone to move on, and when so many didn’t, she didn’t take ownership of it even then. Very dude energy.
And good for her. There are plenty of legitimate horrors to be concerned about. Not sure a jeans ad passes de minimus, but I don’t have a lot of free time for this kind of thing. So.