your prostate doesn’t lie. your ego does. | musing no. 38
anatomy doesn’t have an agenda. ego does.
men are terrified of the wrong things.
they’ll risk their health by ignoring symptoms. they’ll risk their marriage by shutting down intimacy. they’ll risk everything just to look like they’re not afraid. and yet, the moment the word “prostate” shows up in the bedroom, they panic. the ego tightens before the body ever gets the chance to open.
let’s be clear: your prostate doesn’t care about your labels. it doesn’t care if you’re straight or gay. it doesn’t care if you’ve spent your life performing toughness. it’s anatomy, not identity. the prostate doesn’t lie. your ego does.
and that’s the part that makes this whole debate embarrassing. the male body has a source of intense, layered pleasure built into it, and most men refuse to explore it out of fear that it will somehow undo them. as if curiosity makes you less of a man. as if avoiding your own map makes you stronger.
masculinity isn’t about running from the parts of yourself that scare you. it’s about having the courage to confront them.
there’s also the health side of this, the one no one likes to talk about. prostate stimulation can help circulation. it can ease tension. some research even suggests it could reduce risk of complications down the line. but men would rather cling to bravado than explore something that might actually keep them healthier. think about that: you’ll ignore both pleasure and health just to protect an illusion.
the deeper loss, though, is intimacy. when a man refuses to let himself be seen, he also refuses the kind of trust that makes a relationship unshakable. a woman who can touch every part of him — not just physically but emotionally — is a woman who won’t forget him. she’ll remember the man who was brave enough to let down his guard and let her in. that is the kind of bond that turns sex into something sacred. and most men will never feel it because they’re too busy protecting an image.
ask yourself: what’s more “gay” — trusting the woman you love with your body, or living your whole life afraid of yourself? one is intimacy. the other is cowardice.
it’s not about techniques or toys or internet tutorials. it’s about ego versus trust. the men who mock this conversation will spend their nights pretending. the men who listen will spend their nights building a connection most people can only imagine. women don’t remember the man who refused. they remember the man who was present. who listened. who didn’t let pride rob him of discovery.
if you’re a man reading this, you have a choice. stay locked inside the small version of masculinity you inherited — fragile, defensive, shallow. or step into something bigger: curiosity without shame, presence without panic, trust without fear. unlock a part of yourself that’s been waiting all along.
your prostate doesn’t lie. your ego does. and the only thing standing between you and the next level of intimacy is whether you’re willing to tell the difference.
— author
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