choose brotherhood over bullshit—or stay lost | musing no. 17
the standard is the bond.
What do the ancient Spartans, Roman senators, samurai, knightly orders, Greek philosophers, Native warrior societies, Freemasons, and today’s elite special forces all have in common?
Brotherhood over isolation.
Ritual and initiation.
Shame and honor as accountability tools.
Discipline—physical, intellectual, or both—as a core practice.
A clear, unshakable ideal of what it meant to be a man.
These weren’t just groups. They were forges.
Men held each other accountable—not to tear each other down, but to build each other up. Into warriors. Scholars. Protectors. Leaders. Men who could be counted on.
And today?
Most men have no such circle.
No initiation. No code. No fire.
Only comfort, excuses, and influencers whispering, “It’s not your fault.”
They don’t have standards. They have followers.
They don’t get called up. They get coddled.
And it shows.
You’ve felt it. That quiet frustration.
You look around and think, What the hell happened to us?
Somewhere along the way, we traded growth for validation. We stopped challenging each other and started nodding along. We abandoned shame and honor and replaced them with the god-awful phrase:
“Boys will be boys.”
When did that become acceptable?
When did men stop holding each other—and themselves—accountable?
It’s not hard to be a man.
It’s hard to be a better one.
That’s the point.
This isn’t Sparta.
But ask yourself: if your life depended on the man beside you… would you make it out?
Would he?
Because when men stop demanding more from each other, everyone suffers.
We didn’t just lose brotherhood. We abandoned it.
It’s time we bring it back.
Not with hashtags. Not with hollow talk.
With a circle of men who make you uncomfortable—on purpose.
Men who demand better. Men who refuse to hand out excuses.
That’s what cuffed is for.
Not to make you feel better.
To make you be better.
— author
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if he calls himself your brother—
but never checks your excuses—
he’s not.
— author
Noted beards beneath the Corinthian helmet on the Spartan (“Come back with your shield or on it”) and on the Knight Templar … who looks an awful lot like author.