Ok, I figured out what troubled me about this. Do you believe people we've had in our lives a long time deserve second chances, at the least?
Since you are "ever the gentleman," I thought this situation could be revisited, wherein ground rules are not implicit, especially as they involve the twinkie spouse. Restate your premises about what your ask is, and then give him another chance to better barrier information he can't control getting out.
This is the musing that convinced me to subscribe. For lots of reasons, but mostly because I can feel your hurt and betrayal.
Nothing about his treatment, reaction, or hands-in-the-air was fair. I’m sorry it happened. I wish he’d apologize and be mature enough to understand his role here.
Scruples matter and are fairly easy to evidence. Not much evidence here. Some situations feel so obvious that it’s gobsmacking to have to articulate them, and yet speaking our expectation is too often required even in longterm connections where one would think they’d know: because they wouldn’t want it done to them, because they ought to know the circumstances well enough to realize an ask for privacy was implicit.
it’s one thing to lose a friend.
it’s another to realize you never had one.
— author
Ok, I figured out what troubled me about this. Do you believe people we've had in our lives a long time deserve second chances, at the least?
Since you are "ever the gentleman," I thought this situation could be revisited, wherein ground rules are not implicit, especially as they involve the twinkie spouse. Restate your premises about what your ask is, and then give him another chance to better barrier information he can't control getting out.
There, I said my piece.
funny you should mention this. a musing next week provides a follow-up to this exact issue. stay close.
— author
This is the musing that convinced me to subscribe. For lots of reasons, but mostly because I can feel your hurt and betrayal.
Nothing about his treatment, reaction, or hands-in-the-air was fair. I’m sorry it happened. I wish he’d apologize and be mature enough to understand his role here.
Scruples matter and are fairly easy to evidence. Not much evidence here. Some situations feel so obvious that it’s gobsmacking to have to articulate them, and yet speaking our expectation is too often required even in longterm connections where one would think they’d know: because they wouldn’t want it done to them, because they ought to know the circumstances well enough to realize an ask for privacy was implicit.
I’ll keep hoping he tries to reconcile.