Now that I’ve been back in the dating scene for a minute, one thing has become abundantly clear: younger women are constantly telling on you. And fellas—especially American guys under 35—you’re making it way too easy for guys like me in our 40s (cuffed PSA to women can be found here).
Here’s the truth. I’ve been with more women in their 20s during my 40s than I ever was when I was their age. And it’s not because I’ve suddenly become hotter or smoother. It’s because the bar has been set so pathetically low.
Let’s run through the list of complaints I keep hearing:
Video game addiction: We all grew up with video games, but now it’s an identity. These guys would rather sit in the dark on a Friday night drinking beer and yelling into a headset than spend time with an actual woman.
Sloppy dress: The way some of these guys present themselves is wild. Crocs, cartoon boots, oversized sweatpants—it looks like they rolled out of a laundry basket. Throw on a collared shirt. Own a belt. Pretend like you care about your appearance.
No manners: Opening a door? Pulling out a chair? Saying please or thank you? Forget about it. Women constantly tell me how rare it is to be treated with basic decency. That’s insane.
Making women pay: This one gets me. If you ask someone out, you pay. Period. I have never, in my life, asked a woman to split the bill when I was the one doing the asking. And you know why? Because she already invested—time, energy, makeup, hair, nails, maybe a new outfit. That’s her half of the date right there.
Sex is selfish: Another consistent complaint—young guys have no idea how to please a woman. It’s get in, get off, get out. No exploration, no curiosity, no interest in her pleasure. That’s not sex. That’s masturbation with someone else’s body.
So thank you. Seriously. You’ve lowered expectations so much that simply being a well-dressed, confident, and courteous man in his 40s is now considered top-tier.
If you’re a younger guy and you’re reading this: you don’t have to be rich. You don’t have to be perfect. Just act like a grown-ass man. Show up. Listen. Put effort into how you look. Care about how she feels. And stop being afraid to lead.
It’s not rocket science. But right now, you’re making guys like me look like rockstars just for doing the bare minimum.
new musings drop every tuesday and thursday.
subscribe if you’re ready for the ones no one else is writing.
you don’t need a dating coach.
you need someone to tell you the truth before life does.
— author
STILL cringing over "masturbation with someone else’s body." PREACH.