m.69 wireframe | red room no. 14
why women guard access, men guard exposure, and both call it protection
there’s a reason this conversation makes people uncomfortable.
because it exposes the one thing modern dating is built to avoid:
clarity.
women are afraid a man will get what he wants and leave.
men are afraid a woman will see all of them and leave.
same fear.
different disguises.
and instead of admitting that fear, we’ve turned avoidance into a philosophy.
we call it standards.
we call it pacing.
we call it boundaries.
but most of the time, it’s just protection pretending to be strategy.
this is exactly what we unpack in the podcast episode tied to this drop.
not the surface-level dating advice.
the shared psychology underneath it.
the part no one wants to sit with long enough to admit they recognize themselves in it.
because once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
women withhold their bodies hoping to secure safety.
men withhold their truth hoping to avoid rejection.
she guards access.
he guards exposure.
both think they’re being careful.
both are just delaying the same moment.
clarity.
